Shells, Smells, and the Horrible Flip-Flops of Doom by Rachel Vail

Author:Rachel Vail
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781466874299
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends

July 29, Thursday

All night last night, I had the word KNUCKLES in my mouth. I was daring myself to say it and daring myself to not say it. Then they made me take a shower when I wasn’t even that dirty so I had to fuss about that and then take the shower and then I think the shampoo didn’t get all the way out of my hair and then I had to play with my knights for a while and then it was time for Mom and Dad to say good NIGHT Justin fifty times even though I had an important thing to tell them but they said we can talk about it at breakfast.

I thought I would never fall asleep, but I guess I did because it seemed like ten minutes after they were saying good NIGHT Justin go to sleep stay in bed, they were saying good MORNING Justin wake up get out of bed.

I finally got up and brushed my teeth and went downstairs to breakfast, and while I was staring at my Toast-R-Cakes and my banana, I thought about telling them that I could not go back to camp because it was a horrible camp where they make you swing from rings even though you are not a monkey, and when the counselors are not looking, you have to play a horrible game called Knuckles.

But Elizabeth had a huge panic because she couldn’t find the barrettes that she needed to wear, so I couldn’t tell anything.

“I need them!” she kept shrieking.

“You don’t need them,” I told her. “You want them.”

“No, I need them!”

“Elizabeth!” I yelled. “In life you need only food, water, shelter, and occasionally an umbrella. Everything else is a want.”

Elizabeth, Mom, and Dad just stared at me. Nobody argued. Then my bus beeped, so I went off to torture camp.

Luckily today instead of Rest and the secret horrible game of Knuckles after lunch, we had to work on our Obstacle Course skills. Because we all stink. Especially me and Penelope Ann Murphy and Bartholomew Wiggins.

I didn’t even mind, that’s how much I hate Knuckles.

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